yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
