Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
