We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
