Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
