Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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