I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
