Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
