listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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