I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
