I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
