I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
