Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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