Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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