Don't you send me to vm
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
