What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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