Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
