I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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