He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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