We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
