Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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