you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
