Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
