thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Cold hands, warm shart.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize