standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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