I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
this is an emotional support booty call
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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