i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
