If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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