He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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