I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize