and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
