I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
