Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
