his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
