Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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