Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
