Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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