So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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