508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
