ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
