i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
