don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
