Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
