mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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