They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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