I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
