We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
