I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I could make wine with my vomit
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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