Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
