just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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