just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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