we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
