woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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