Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
