Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
