oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
