Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
