Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
