going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
