1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
