Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize