After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
