your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
