literally had 100 drinks last night.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
