Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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