sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
