Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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