i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
