and you said cock pushups were impossible
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
