just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
