I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Success! We fucked roommates!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize