dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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