is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
