It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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