i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
