Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
