I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
