Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
