Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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