$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
