I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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