Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
