He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
